PeekabooNWA

Resolve to Court Novelty

Posted on 02. Jan, 2009 by admin in Chasing Date Night

Are you making a resolution to start a date night? If you are, don’t you want to make sure you do it right? Scientific data now confirms what I’ve been writing about for months. Romantic goals are not like business objectives or home improvement projects.

Most goals can be broken down into actionable steps that we put on a list or a calendar. With determination we create a new routine toward achieving these objectives. For example, if you want to lose ten pounds, you may start by setting aside time three times a week to hit the treadmill. If you’re looking to strengthen your marriage, you may declare every other Wednesday is date night. You make a standing date at your favorite restaurant and call it good. However, according to brain and behavior researchers at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, that is the wrong approach.

It turns out the trick is to forego favorite spots and familiar fun for new and different activities. If you want to feel the love, you’ve got to keep injecting novelty into your relationship. It can be as simple as trying a new restaurant, to something more unusual like taking an art class or doing a new sport together. Novelty can even be achieved by something as simple as taking a drive to an area you’ve never been to before. The key is that it’s not enough to simply pencil it in and call the babysitter.

But you already knew this right? It’s called not getting into a rut. Science now confirms that new experiences activate the brain’s reward system and flood it with dopamine and norepinephrine. (These are the same brain circuits that are active when your first meet someone and are crushing hard!) While studies also show that this euphoria – the butterflies of early romance – are soon replaced by the familiar and predictable feelings of long term attachment, novelty can help bring the excitement back.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

***  Take an improvisation class at Theatre Squared in Fayetteville.
*** Go ice skating at the Jones Center in Springdale.
*** Learn the Argentine Tango at Elayne’s Dance Studio in Fayetteville.
*** Ride the mountain biking trail at Slaughter Pen Hollow in Bentonville.

When you keep novelty in mind, you date nights will be worth the effort!