An Adoption Story: 3 Babies from the Ukraine

Posted on 28. Feb, 2010 by admin in Personal Stories

My oldest son likes to say our family is a lot like the family on TLC’s “Little People, Big World.” We do everything everyone else does, we just do it a little bit differently. This statement could not be more true. What makes our family different? Well, for one thing, all of our 3 children were adopted from an orphanage in Kramatorsk, Ukraine. The other thing is they all have cerebral palsy.

Before traveling to Ukraine to adopt our boys in May of 2002, my husband and I had little experience with children with cerebral palsy. Part of what had drawn us to Ukraine was the fact that we would have the opportunity to meet the children before making a decision to adopt. While making travel preparations, we met a little girl who had just been adopted from the Ukraine — she had special needs and she changed the course of our lives forever. She was so amazing, beautiful and inspiring that after meeting her we made the decision that we would not travel to the Ukraine looking for the healthiest child possible. Instead we would keep our hearts wide open to adopting a child with special needs.

Because of this openness, when Dima was placed in my lap for the first time, I did not shy away from him because he had cerebral palsy. Instead, my heart melted with love. He was 2 1/2 years old, weighed only 15 lbs. and could not even walk — but none of that mattered. I knew he was mine! My heart overflowed with joy as I whispered in his ear that I wouldn’t be leaving Ukraine without him. My husband had a similar experience with our younger son, Leks. Leks was 20 months old, weighed 14 lbs., and was also diagnosed with cerebral palsy. He couldn’t hold his head up, had no use of his arms or legs, and, according to the orphanage doctors, he was blind. This did little to detour my husband from opening his heart to this little guy even though Leks pee’d all over him when they unwrapped him on his lap!

We had the opportunity to meet many children at the orphanage that day and would have loved to take all of them home with us if it had been possible. One girl in particular left an impression on us that would stay with us as we traveled back to the United States. Her name was Lena. She was beautiful with a head full of fine, curly blonde hair, a huge smile, and legs obviously affected by cerebral palsy. While we left the Ukraine with only our two little boys, we carried the memory of this sweet little girl with us as we headed home.

During the first 3 years at home with our boys, I requested and received news about Lena from non-profit workers and adoptive families traveling to the orphanage. In June of 2005, we found out that Lena had aged out of the baby orphanage and was going to be transferred to an institution due to her cerebral palsy. This was very sad and frightening news. We were all too aware that children transferred to the institution did not receive any type of education and, due to very poor living conditions, usually died within a year. This was heartbreaking to hear because although Lena was not yet our daughter, we still loved her.
It didn’t take long for my husband Jimmie and I to make the decision to adopt Lena. We raised the funds to adopt her in just four short months, and when we were reunited with Lena, the joy on her face confirmed that we had made the right decision. She was used to calling her caregivers Mama, but after our first meeting, that special name was reserved only for me. I felt blessed and proud to carry that title. After 28 days in Ukraine, we arrived home and united our family for the first time. It was amazing to watch the boys and Lena interact. They accepted her as if she had always been a part of our family, and she acted as if this had always been her home, never looking back.

Even though our children were all adopted from the same orphanage, they had never been in the same rooms, essentially making them strangers. It was truly a miracle to see how our family became one when Lena came home. It was as if we were always meant to be together.

Recently, my grandfather passed away. Their individual reactions summed up their personalities and what makes me so proud of each of them. Dima asked if Grandpa Ezra was in Heaven now and, “How long did it take him to get there?” My daughter Lena was sad and said her heart was breaking and wanted to know how many pieces my heart was in. My youngest, Leks was immediately concerned about his Grandma Lois and wanted to make sure she was okay because Grandpa was no longer with her.

A few weeks after arriving home, I received word that the orphanage director was looking to better the lives of the special needs children in the orphanage. He asked for any information I could provide on the therapies that our children received. I spoke with Leks’ physical therapist, Kym Hannah, co-owner of Children’s Therapy T.E.A.M. about the possibility of taking a trip to Ukraine. She was immediately interested, so in March of 2006, Kym Hannah, Karen Hairston, and I travelled to Ukraine to work with the children. That trip was monumental because not only were we able to make a lasting impact with the way the special needs children in the orphanage were viewed and worked with, Kym and Karen also met their future “adoptee” children who also have cerebral palsy.

Since that trip, therapists at Children’s Therapy T.E.A.M. have continued to return to Ukraine to work with the caregivers and doctors. In the Ukraine, many parents of special needs children are encouraged to give up their child to the orphanage system. If they choose not to, they are often ridiculed and forced to keep their child home-bound to prevent the mental abuse they are sure to endure. On our last trip, we were able to build a relationship with the local children’s hospital and had the opportunity to work with families who have decided to ignore this socially accepted norm and keep their children.

Next month we will return to the Ukraine to work in the orphanage and the children’s hospital. We are very excited about this trip, as we are partnering with the children’s hospital to run a clinic where the children will have the opportunity to work with speech, physical and occupational therapists, as well as an equipment specialist who will be building pediatric therapeutic equipment while in Ukraine. As for my part, I don’t have a specialized degree or medical license, but am very thankful to have the opportunity to tell of our children’s successes and demonstrate that our family does everything everyone else does, we just do them a little bit differently.

The Ukraine Therapy Mission Project is now officially a part of 99Balloons.org. Donations can be made to 99 Balloons, 44 N Palmer Ave., Fayetteville, AR 72701 or online at 99Balloons.org. Please put “Ukraine” in the memo. Other inquires can be sent to amanda.clark@childrenstherapyteam.com.