PeekabooNWA

Hearing with the Heart

Posted on 02. Jan, 2009 by admin in Personal Stories

It was August 8, 2006. I was in the grocery store when my husband, Jeff, called to tell me he had received a call from DHS regarding a newborn boy who needed an adoptive home. I had been waiting for this call for months to the point that any time the phone rang, I was disappointed if it wasn’t THE call. Finally, our dream of becoming parents was turning into a reality. That very evening, we went to the hospital where we welcomed our son, Ethan, into our hearts. We give praise to God that after a long and sometimes difficult journey towards adoption, all was finalized just recently on November 20, 2008! We had a precious bundle to call our own.

We were told on the day we first met our little guy that one of his ears had failed the “newborn hearing screening” but that we should have him retested in 2 weeks, because this was a somewhat common thing to happen. We weren’t too alarmed at first, but when the same ear failed the 2nd screening, new tests were ordered and we began to understand that there truly may be some hearing problems in one of Ethan’s ears. So, that was how our experience with deafness/hearing loss all started.

After numerous tests, MRIs, CT Scans, and visits to a plethora of specialists, Ethan was diagnosed with binaural (both ears) profound hearing loss. It was discovered that the ear which had initially tested fine had a different set of problems that did not register on that type of screening. It took us several months to really grasp the reality that our new baby boy was practically deaf. We both kept hoping that the tests were not accurate or that something was being overlooked. I would keep noticing “signs” that he heard noises or voices, and would tell myself that his condition wasn’t quite so serious as we were being told. However, after observing Ethan more intently over time, it was obvious that he was severely impaired in his ability to hear. I would clap or shout (as loudly as I could) near his crib while he was napping and he wouldn’t even flinch, whereas most babies would have been startled and awoken easily. He did not sway to music which almost all babies do instinctively. And there was no recognition of or calming effect to my voice when I would enter his room.

So, after coming to grips with this difficult truth, we sought out therapists, researched his particular condition, read books by parents of deaf children, and also had him fitted with hearing aids. All the while, I hoped beyond hope that somehow his condition would improve, though we had been told by all his specialists that it would not. But, ultimately, Jeff and I have been graciously enabled to not only accept Ethan’s hearing loss as a trial, but to embrace it as having a greater purpose in God’s ultimate plan for us and especially for Ethan.

Over time and after even more tests, we learned that Ethan is completely deaf in his right ear (and untreatable by either a hearing aid or cochlear implant) and has a condition in his left ear that not only greatly affects amplification of sound but distorts it as well. In light of these more recent findings, we have been learning Signing Exact English, and speak to him simultaneously since there is still a bit of hearing in his one ear. There are numerous communication options that parents of children with hearing loss can consider, depending on each child’s specific condition and the parents’ goals for their child. We have chosen this particular route, because our hopes are that he will one day be able to communicate effectively with the hearing English-speaking world and also to the deaf community.

It is a long road ahead as we try to learn a new language, see multiple speech therapists, continue our visits to his audiologist, and record his daily progress. At times, it can seem overwhelming and we think how nice it would be to be able to communicate with him easily as we do our second son. But, we are constantly reminded of God’s sufficient grace to be the parents Ethan needs, and we rest in His perfect plan for our lives including this journey of having a deaf child.

We are so blessed by Ethan’s person as a whole, his sweet spirit, his joy for learning, and his affectionate heart. It often seems that his other abilities, both physical and mental, compensate for the one that he lacks. And we know that his inability to hear only contributes to the wonderful traits we see in him each day. We do not treat him any differently than we do our hearing child when it comes to teaching them and expecting them to learn, and he has thrived under this sort of care and love. He amazes us with how quickly he learns and understands showing that he is not really disabled at all…he only has to work a little harder to show it! He has changed forever who we are for the better.